Frances 0. Thomas

National Certified Counselor

Give it a Rest

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I venture a guess that no woman in America will be surprised by the results of research done by Cornell University, the University of Minnesota, and Minnesota Population Center. They studied time diaries from 12,000 parents and concluded dads are happier when parenting than moms are. It seems moms do more of the work tasks while dads do more fun tasks. Ya think?

Moms were often alone with their kids, but dads often spent time with their kids in social situations with other adults around to give support. Moms were also more likely to be on call 24/7, so dads got more uninterrupted sleep.

For a fictional look at how this can play out, I recommend Leave Me, a novel by Gayle Forman. The mom in this book suffers a heart attack and subsequent bypass surgery only to return home to whining, demanding children and a husband who thinks she can make a full recovery in a week so as not to inconvenience him.

Having facts from a study like this one to back up fiction and anecdotal evidence is good, but when will this situation change? I don’t have children, but I do find myself jumping in to do things that others could and should do for themselves and then feeling resentful. I need to learn to back off, set better boundaries, and ask for help instead of playing martyr. Do you?

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3 thoughts on “Give it a Rest

  1. J L Hunt on said:

    Having cared for children, I know TOO well, how strenuous of a job it entails…especially for two working parents. So, I’ve seen both sides of the spectrum Very interesting read 🙂

  2. Fortunate, isn’t it, that child rearing has its own rewards?

  3. Hi,

    I’ve had a look at your profile and your book sounds great! I want to help you raise awareness and hopefully sales of this book; I work for a company seeking to find well-written, gripping stories that go unrecognised by the majority of their audience. If you’re interested, please go to my profile here: http://www.storytelleralley.com/users/emilyw, where there is a form to fill in about your book. Feel free to contact me for more details!

    Thanks 🙂

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